We packed our bags, did some more planning and headed out to find lunch before we left. We were accompanied by the girl from the hostel again, as she was taking us to show us where to get 'the best papaya salad'. I left her and Matt at the stall as I went to collect the adjusted clothes but when I got back Matt was looking significantly pale and sweaty. He told me that he had just (discretely) vomited foam on a crocodile in the 'canal'. Well, he'd chucked up in the canal and had seen a crocodile at the same time but that doesn't sound as good. The girl thought Matt was just struggling in the heat and so sweetly sent us back to the hostel to wait.
The Doxycycline anti-malaria medication was blamed for the queasiness but it didn't help Matt much that the food was crazy spicy or that we were joined by Kathleen. She was passing time before she went on a date with the old expat guy she had told us about the other night but openly divulged various key facts about her sex life. She also told us about her adoption of a baby in Thailand many years ago and that was much more interesting and quite a tragic but heartwarming story of a different time. As the time came to meet her date, she unceremoniously said her goodbyes and trundled off without her 'walker' in an attempt to make herself more sexy.
Lauren turned up straight after. She was heading to Australia that day and was just having lunch before she left too so we sat for a while shared ideas of places to see before we all left for the Metro.
Now Bangkok Metro has the most useless security system in the world. It beats the Hong Kong system of having a line of workers who side-step in front of the Metro doors after the warning beeps go to make sure that no-one gets stuck trying to squeeze past them. Apparently the trains do still set off and people have been torn from their limbs. It also beats the Chinese system of having an x-ray machine and a person to tell you to use it, even though most people just walk straight past. It even beats the Indian system of having a metal detector with enough space to walk around it and avoid it altogether. What Bangkok does is employ someone to stand at the entrance to every station and briefly check the top of your bag. Every person carrying a bag has to stop, unzip their bag and open it up so that someone can shine a torch into it and wave you through. There's no x-ray and not even a metal detector. They don't even make you remove any contents or unzip all of the compartments. They just salute you, shine a light on whatever is in the top of your bag and send you on your way. Every single person is checked but not a single one of them is even questioned. As long as they remember to put their bomb and their gun under their purse then they are considered to be secure.
Most of the time we found it comical, but when we have to unload our backpacks and find they key to unlock them just so someone can shine a torch on the carrier bag containing the dirty underwear that we have stuffed into the top, it becomes a bit of a pain.
We said goodbye to Lauren at the second stop and she continued to the airport while we made our way to the bus-station. Matt got his bum trapped in a speedy electronic gate and got a bit of a bruise but other than that it was quite simple.
The bus to Ban Phe (where we could catch the boat to Koh Samet island) was one of the better ones we have been on on our travels. There was somewhere to store our bags, there was cold-air blowing from the vents and they gave us a carton of water and a packet of 3 fake Jammy Dodgers. The children's version of a 'Pop Idol' type programme blaring on the TV was less than desirable but tone-deaf children warbling songs that sound awful even when they're sung well is not the worst thing we've had to deal with on public transport.
Unfortunately, we arrived at the town Ban Phe late so the town was already in darkness and the late boat had left. Leaving the pier, we were tired, hot and grotty and so took the first room we were offered and at the price we were offered. More fortunately, even though it was expensive for us, Tawan Guesthouse was clean and nice.
We freshened up and took a walk down the road to look at the beach on the mainland side. It was pretty dirty and not very nice to look at but there was a storm in the clouds over the ocean so we bought ourselves a beer from Tesco and sat down on a rock.
Back at Tawan, we shared a "rum" (I'm sure it was whisky) with owner of guesthouse and his boyfriend and they told us that no-one ever really goes in the sea from the mainland but that Koh Samet was better. It didn't have the greatest write-up in our guidebook though so we'll have to see.
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