3rd April - Bangkok

We took the advice of our hostel owner (I can't remember fer name but she was like a smug and patronising Roseanne Barr) and took the Metro, then Skytrain to meet a boat that we could use to explore many of the major attractions of the city.

We started off in the Chinese quarter. Well actually we got off at the stop before the Chinese quarter because the ticket conductor lady was a grump and woudn't listen to our question. However, we soon made it to the markets and had a good wander around. Apart from the few shop fronts we'd passed with Chinese characters rather than Thai, we wouldn't really see what was very Chinese about it and it looked like a pretty typical Thai market with lots of seafood and seafood products as well as vegetables and colourful, handmade sweets. There were also lots of flowers and garlands on display which we assumed were in anticipation of the new year.

We decided to explore further afield and had just stopped to buy some pineapple when the husband of the lady on the stall stopped us to talk.  His name was Som and he spoke pretty good English. When we commented on it he told us that he was in the army and had taught himself English out of books. Som asked us what we had seen in Bangkok so far and we told him we were having our first day of exploring the city sights. He told us that Wat Pho was a must but, since it was a public ceremony,  it was closed for ceremonies until 1pm. He then took our map and drew his recommendations all over it in thick blue pen, he even incuded the route we should take them in and gave us some information on the difference between government and private tuk tuks ( apparently the license plate colour) and the price we should pay. One passed while we were still talking and Som pointed out the license plate. Seeing we were talking about him, the driver pulled over. Som pointed out where we wanted to go and negotiated the price to take us there, which at less than a quid, was a snip compared to India.

In just a few minutes, we'd acquired a plan, a route, transport and some pineapple and were on our way. It took just a few minutes longer for us to start wondering if it was all too convenient and we were being scammed. Still, we has our wits about us and always had the option to change drivers and so sat back and enjoyed being in a tuk tuk in congested city traffic again. It wasn't white-knuckle ride of India without the market stalls and wandering animals but we felt like we were adventuring again. Our driver Somkit, spoke reasonable English and so we chatted on the way, learning about his family and sharing our pineapple.
Our first stop was a temple with a reclining Buddha. It wasn't as big as the one at Wat Pho but was worth a look. We were met at the entrance by 'Mr Chuan Vanit' who welcomed us with a big smile and an enthusiastic greeting. The events so far had put Matt and I into India mode and we were instantly on our guard.

The temple was small but dominated by the huge Buddha. There are two arms positions in reclining Buddhas. One is supporting the head, signifying that the Buddha is resting, and is related to the story of the Buddha and the giant Asurindarahu (hence the symbolism of the size) and he other position is with the arm layed in front, which represents the Buddha passing away at the age of 80 and  entering Nirvana.
This Buddha was resting and covered in large and geniune gemstones. Mr Chuan Vanit asked if we wanted some luck and Matt and I both hesitated, looked at each other, wondered how much it would cost and mumbled a response about how we 'might'. Mr Chuang Vanit looked a bit confused and asked us several times, each time receiving a non-commital response. Eventually, still unsure of why we did not just say yes, he just told us that if we did we ought to pray to Buddha and he would give us some.

We chatted for a while about where we were from, football (we have no interest but it turns out many Thai people know British teams and players), how Thailand is the 'land of smiles' and the restoration of the temple. He asked us our plan for the day and we showed him our itinerary. He was particularly pleased that we had the 'Thai Factory' on our list. We'd assumed the Silk Factory would probably be a high-pressure sales moment but Mr Chuang Vanit said it was a very good place and did indeed contribute its profits to charities. He was surprised that we hadn't seen it mentioned on TV but was convinced of its greatness. We padded barefoot across the hot tiles back to the entrance, put our shoes back on and said our goodbyes.
On the way back to the tuk tuk, we stopped to admire the work of two men who were patiently restoring some figures back to their former, detailed glory. They stopped to smile and greet us and agreed to have a photo taken of them and their work.

Somkit was pleased we liked the temple and chatted to us as we rode on the tuk tuk past upteen shops selling different sized gold statues of Buddha, from inches high to great towering great giants. Many people who walked past were drinking coloured drinks through a straw from small plastic bags and we wondered at the toxic looking flavours.

We stopped at the 'Thai Factory' and were a little surprised about how un-factory like it was. When we walked in it was basically just a posh-looking little tailors, not the warehouse we were expecting. They looked very pleased to see us but didn't really bother perservering when we told them we weren't looking to get a new silk outfit. As much as I'd like to see Matt in a full silk suit, it's hardly practical for our current lifestyle and so we managed to make a smooth exit.

We were wondering whether we had started a commission-making tour instead of sightseeing and this was confirmed at the next stop: Tourist Information Thailand (TIT). We were greeted with attempted sincerity and directed to one of multitude of Travel Agent type desks. We knew then that this was not going to be independent advice for cheap things to do and so I decided to make sure I at least got a free wee out of it. The lady at the desk asked what we wanted to and immediately referred us to a different guy on a different desk. With all the charm of a snake trying to convince a mouse on his hoildays that his mouth was the opening to paradise and they only had to pay a 'small' fee, he started to outline the flaws in our plan. I nipped off to the loo and he was still telling Matt was a mistake he was making when I got back. We cut to the chase and asked him to recommend what he thought we should do instead of calling us idiotic for having our own plan and the conversation ended shortly after, with all our tempers very frayed.

Somkit asked if we'd found anything but we curtly told him that we hadn't and requested that we move on to the next place. We were now becoming more doubtful of our trip and so weren't expecting much but the Wat Traimitr was quite lovely.

We entered the grounds through pretty gardens and made our way into the main temple. It was possible that we should have paid but the man on the door was following the Thai tradition of sleeping on the job.

We had a look at the black statues of Buddha, cast into imitations of other famous Buddhas, which we arranged around the courtyard and made our way into the main temple to see the most famous Buddha. Three meters high and weighing in at five and a half tons, it was discovered during the extension of the port of Bangkok ond so a crane was brought in to move it. When it slipped while it was being hoisted, the stucco cracked, revealing the solid gold underneath. Turns out the statue was covered in stucco to protect it from the invading Burmese in the eighteenth century.

Alongside the main building ran a little canal and we took one of the small arched bridges over to the other side and marveled at the illustrious builings there for a short time before venturing further in and coming across a complex that reminded me of Butlins but where all of the monks lived.

Heading back to the main area, we were ask for the 20th time whether we wanted an ice-cream or a cold drink, circled the Bodhi tree, took a detour back over the bridge so Matt could play some giant drums and then sought refuge from the heat back in our tuk tuk.

Feeling more generous after seeing an actual sight, we then agreed to go to a gem outlet so that Somkit could get free fuel for commission. We appreciated his honesty and expcted to be able to wriggle out of it as easily as we had the silk shop. When we arrived we were given a lovely cold drink of mineral water and were given a tour of the place. There was a sign on the wall asking that the staff be informed if a tuk tuk driver had co-erced you there and wanted a free lift home and so we didn't feel under so much pressure. As it was I was absolutely taken with one of the rings I was shown and nearly indulged in a beautiful yellow sapphire set into a unique white gold ring. Fortunately (or not), Barclays still hadn't got back to me about my card and Matt was also playing the voice of reason so we left empty handed.

By this time, Somkit was getting pushy and asked us if we'd visit just one more place where he could get fuel. When we refused he started telling us we could help feed his children. As much as this pulls on my heartstrings it also really annoys me that people play on my empathy and so we stood our ground and were told this would be our last stop and were unceremoniously dumped outside Wat Pho.

After a freshly grilled fish and a selection of Thai dishes for our lunch, we strode into the nearest entrance of Wat Pho. Wat Pho is the largest and most famous temple in Bankok and contains one of the biggest reclining Buddhas, as well as being the respected centre of traditional thai massage. It's towers and colours reminded me quite a lot of the Goudi buildings in Barcelona and we spent a while looking around the different areas and a few of the 1000 golden Buddhas housed there but we were so hot that our hearts just weren't in it.

We took refuge in our hallowed 7 eleven to cool off and explored the streets a little. We accidentally came across the teaching centre for Wat Po massage and  considered doing a course but it would have been quite expensive and would have involved another week in Bangkok. I went away to think about it but it didn't seem fair to leave poor Matt waiting for so long while I spent our budget learning new skills so decided against it. I kind of wish that I hadn't and Matt assures me he wouldn't have minded so we'll see what happens in the future.

We got back on the boat and paid to go to the end of the 'line' just so that we could enjoy a boat ride past some of the more famous sites of Bangkok. I was feeling the effects of the sun and had a nap but still felt queasy when we arrived.

We took a walk around the street market stretching down the street. We stopped to be amused by the flip-flops and off t-shirts (including a confusing one that said 'Gegal and Leneral' and had the 'Legal and General umbrella on!) but I wasn't feeling so good so we didn't walk for long or far.

Back at the pier we stopped to watch a man feeding bread to hundreds of giant fishes in the water below. They were obviously more keen on the bread than we were because they were in a real frenzy. The man shared his rolls so that we could join in and we both enjoyed trying to get the food to the smaller ones instead of the giants.

We rode back down the river at dusk and watched the city light up as we went. It was a pleasent journey but I just wanted to lay dpwn and so was very grateful for the speed and efficiency of the Skytain and MTR when we got back to shore.

Back at the hostel, free coconut ice-cream, lots of water and a paracetamol seemed to sort me out and we got caught in another conversation with Kathleen, who tried very hard to convince us of the benefits of having a timeshare, even though she was no longer in the business of selling them. After insisting we go to her room to see some examples, she sent us to bed with a brochure each.

We didn't read them but Matt did look up the TIT. As expected, it wasn't the genuine tourist information centre though Som had actually marked down the genuine one but Somkit hadn't taken us there. The genuine one was called the TAT (Tourist Advice Thailand). Mistaking TIT for TAT is probably not uncommon.