29th August - KL to Singapore

The morning was lost to packing and sorting but by lunchtime we were ready to say our goodbyes and make our way to do a few last-minute jobs before heading to the bus station. We were feeling quite pushed for time so when the taxi-driver stopped to refuel (and charged us for the privilige!), we changed our itinery slightly and went straight Bujaya Times Square.

We picked up tickets, changed money, had lunch and had our last wander around one of the consumer-crazed malls of Singapore before going to the bus bay.

The bus itself was great! There were big, plush (though psychadelic-coloured) seats with inbuilt massagers. The bum-squeezing, bone-shaking, life-fearing buses of earlier in our trip seemed like a distant memory.

The bus-driver really went to town shouting at a couple who dropped a bit of litter on the bus so we also got our first taste of what Hong called 'this unforgiving and punitive island state'.

Such was the level of comfort that I completely forget to blog and instead just vibrated away while I chilled out with Matt, listening to podcasts for nearly 6 hours.

Border controls were less scary than I imagined (especially since I later realised that I'd smuggled in chewing gum) and we were through them quickly. We arrived in Singapore and were immediately in awe of all of the imposing, stunning and outright bonkers buildings and structures!

Another benefit of Matt choosing that bus was that it dropped us off rather close to where we were having our first Couch-Surfing adventure. Our host, Kuni, was still at work so we went for food at one of the local restaurants. Matt's 'herbal mutton', bubbling and sizzling away made me realise that we were soon to be leaving the incredible food of Asia behind.

Kuni's apartment was on the 26th floor of a sparkly apartment block with very unflattering lifts. He showed us around the small flat (the view from our room was simply amazing!), gave us the keys and then went out for dinner.

When he came back he gave us lots of advice of what to do around the city. There was so much that we found ourselves wishing that we were here for more than 2 days. They have a night zoo!

Kuni himself wasn't particularly chatty but he was a very nice guy. He's travelled all over the world and has been to 109 countries! He has also hosted over 1000 couch-surfers! In fact, we were 1006 and 1007! We milked him for conversation for a while and then let him go to bed as he hasn't finished work until 8 and he started again early in the morning.

28th August- Kuala Lumpur

As a celebration of our last day in KL, we spent until mid-afternoon chasing after some computer memory for Matt's new toy. We were meant to be meeting a guy who Matt had contacted on the internet but, in real Malaysian style, the 12pm meeting time had been put back to 2pm and then 3pm. However,  the guy had arranged to meet us at the 'Digital Mall' and so we looked around for what Matt needed there. By the time we received another text asking if we could wait until 3.30pm, we were already on our way out of the door with what we needed.

The best thing about going there though was when I stopped to ask for directions from a work-man in the park. The man I ask didn't speak any English and pointed me (actually with fingers and not the creep finger-less knuckle-point so common here) towards  workmate who did. I started towards his mate but what I didn't realise, until the man grabbed my shoulder and I felt myself sink slightly into the ground, was that the work-man was actually concreting a new path through the park and had just got it to the nice, smooth, even part where it can be left to dry. I offered to sign my footprints but he didn't seem too impressed.
After sharing a 3-course lunch: a sweet tofu pudding from one street stall, a freshly cooked spring roll (I scolded my mouth) from another, and some economy rice with veg from a third one, we considered going to the Butterfly Park. I'd lost my oomph by this point though so we went back to Tim's so Matt could diddle with his new RAM.

In the evening we went out for our farewell meal with Tim, Shirin and Carl. It was our last chance to try new Malaysian food so they took us for Soto - a noodle soup with a kind of corned-beef and potato burger in it. It was actually really nice and made me feel like I was being more adventurous with food. However, compared to our Laos friend Katie, who posted on Facebook that she had eaten cow's brain and pig's trotter for dinner, it was nothing.

Tim fancied a meaty dessert of satay but the restaurant was next to Lake Tittiwangsa (how many jokes are in that name?!) and so we went a walk around there first. We spent a good deal of time playing boys-against-girls 'Alphabet body-shapes' (Hey Zeena, remember Chillingham castle?) against the backdrop of the Petronas towers. Hopefully Matt will include some pictures of that and then you can try and guess what letter we're making.

  

The down-side of so much silliness was that we were too late for satay dessert and no one knew a good place to get fried ice-cream so we all just went home to bed.

4th August - Taman Negara - Kuala Lumpar

Because of last night's discomfort, I was surprised when I didn't wake up until 9am, along with everyone other than Matt.

After a breakfast of fruit cake, we set off back to Tahan, where we picked up our bags and showered before grabbing some lunch and waiting for the local bus to Jerantut.

Jerantut was bigger than I realised and would perhaps have been an interesting place to walk around but we managed to get a connecting bus straight to Kuala Lumpar.

The bus was too cold as usual but did have reclining coach seats and a cool little lever than you cold press to make the coupled seats move an inch or two further apart. I used the extra elbow room to catch up on the blog a little.

3rd August - Taman Negara

We packed up what we needed (mostly about 8 bottles of water), left our main bags at the guesthouse and collected our tatty 'mattresses' from a nearby hostel before going for breakfast at Wan's floating restaurant. I couldn't stomach the floppy toast so Matt got a super-big breakfast and I stocked up on snacks for the journey instead.

After a quick shopping trip and bat trip we were on our way to Bumbun Tabing. It only took an hour and half to walk there and so we had all day to relax in the rainforest before our evening of looking out for tigers and bears.

We dropped off most of our things, thanked providence that there was a shower and toilet there and headed to the river for a while. Bumbun Anjing was across the river and we had debated going there (simply because it had my name in it) but we'd decided against it because it meant actually wading through the river to get there. It did mean that there was a path down to the riverside though and we spent some time there, paddling with the little fishes and watching boats of tourists go by on the disappointing-looking 'rapids' trip. I suspect Matt washing his shirt in the water was actually the highlight of the trip for them.

When I got hungry, we made our way back to the hut to discover some of the food we had brought with us. It was disappointing but entertaining. The tin of tuna mayonnaise we'd bought (because it was pretty much the only protein option) looked, smelled and tasted something like potted meat and what I thought was a chilli version of some crisp-like things we'd already tried and liked turned out to be what I can only describe as fish-jam flavoured. I gave the tuna a go but no amount of 'Cheezles' could mask the flavour and was just a waste of decent cheesy crisps so I stuck to those instead.

We didn't want the leftover food attracting any unwanted visitors in the night so I naughtily catapulted our fishy friends into the rainforest in the hope that they might improve our chances of seeing bears, washed out the containers and hid them in several layers of bag.

We found a way of attaching our mosquito net to the bed above (2nd use in 6 months!)and watched from the window and listened to the jungle sounds until it started getting dusky. Just as I was planning to use the daylight left to enjoy a shower and then settle down for some night-time nature watching we heard the sound of monkeys - and the answering sound of Westerners returning their cries. We couldn't help but be disappointed when four others joined us in our little bubble.

After they'd all jumped in the shower and settled in, it was pretty dark. They did make a bit of an effort to just sit and watch but were still quite chatty (especially after one of them found a huge spider in the bathroom) so we gave up and went to bed to wrestle with our mosquito net while our companions played cards and chatted.

At one point during the night, I woke up certain that I could hear something big outside but by the time I'd untangled myself from the net and woken Matt up for the decent torch,  it was gone.

My favourite belonging (neck and neck with my bumbag no less), my rectangular inflatable pillow, had sprung a leak and kept flattening out within minutes of being reinflated. Combined with the hard wooden slab of a bed and the mosquito net, it began to feel like a pretty long night.

2nd August - Taman Negara

A pretty slow day today. Which is a relief in as much as it doesn't give me so much to write up!
We'd originally planned a longer walk to stay in a bumbun (hut) overnight but didn't want to risk a long, hard trek with loads of stuff so we arranged to stay at a nearer one tomorrow night instead.

We took a short walk in the forest but soon came across a sign that said it wasn't advisable to go much further without a guide and so headed back. We took a quick detour to check out an even closer bumbun so we knew what to expect and enjoyed a peaceful few minutes looking out over a swamp at the birds and butterflies playing nearby. Just listening to the sounds of the rainforest in the day was great and I found myself wishing that I knew more about nature so I could identify what I was seeing and hearing. It did make us look forwward to our overnight stay where we might get to see and hear even more interesting animals.

We bumped into a couple who had been trekking on their own for several days on the boat and they told us a little about their experiences of camping both with a tent and in the bumbuns. They'd seen a bear, come face-to-face with several scorpions and face-to-leg with a few leeches too so it sounded like we were going to have some fun.

Back in the village we looked into hiring bigger backpacks and 'mattresses' (sleeping mats) but most of the decent ones had already been taken for the longer treks and so we decided to see how much we could cram into our daypacks and try to make do. Given how much water I drink, the biggest concern was water rather than food and so the negotiations of how much water we needed began.

The evening was spent chilling out, resting my blisters and trying to hydrate as best we could so that I didn't get any more stupid headaches.

1st August - Taman Negara

We tried to return to Nusa for breakfast but, in a pattern that was set to continue for the rest of our stay, it was closed whenever we wanted to eat. Instead we ate at the place next the the minimart, stocked up on snacks for our trek and went to the office to get the permits needed for ourselves and our camera to enter the forest.

We crossed river by boat and visited the office there in the hope that we could get more information on where to actually go walking for the day. The guy there was slightly more helpful and pointed out a route that didn't need a guide.

We'd read that most of the forest had walkways but it turned out that most of them were in the process of being re-layed and so the walk was a lot more authentic, and a lot harder, than we'd anticipated.

Our first stop was the canopy walkway. Someone had graffitied a sign to it saying that it was partially closed and 'not worth it' but we headed there anyway. It was indeed only half open but we went on it anyway and it was good fun. It was very high up in places and quite difficult to walk along as it swayed an awful lot but it still felt safe. We weren't sure where to walk when we got to the other side so we returned to the starting point where we'd seen a sign for Bukit Teresak where we wanted to go. We were told off by the guy when we got back but since he had no choice but to either let us walk along it again or to let us get off, we were allowed to continue.

Walking up Bukit (which means 'hill') Teresak was a bit of a challange in places. It was only a couple of KMs all the way up and back dwn again but much of it meant tackling tree roots, fallen trees and slippery slopes that required the use of ropes so it was good fun.

We didn't take many pictures because, as great as it is to walk through what is allegedly the old rainforest in the world, on camera it just looks like trees. We did get a few snaps of more interesting looking trees and a few of the creepy-crawlies that we saw but nothing more exciting than that.

We returned very hungry but were too gross to go straight for food so we headed back to our multi-coloured room for a much-needed shower before heading down to the floating restaurants. We were a little earlier than the night before and so managed to get a table at 'Families', which had been packed the night before. The food was ok but not as good as Nusa so we weren't sure what all the fuss was about.

31st July - Perhentian Island to Taman Negara

We were up and packed early to the boat back to KualaPersuit. The speedboat to the island was a rollercoaster journey with everyone hanging on for dear life but the return journey was a lot steadier.

We were approached with a price to Taman Negara but when we refused because it was more expensive than on the island, a man came chasing after us and offered us a lot better price. He took us to  'Watercolours' where we sorted our tickets and had an hour spare for breakfast.

We were pointed towards the only place that looked open but had comically terrible service. The lady there often totally ignored people or wandered off halfway through speaking to them. We eventually managed to get a couple of slices of toast with 'kaya' (local jam) and went to the shops to stock up on snacks instead.

Our minibus left at 10am and we were only expecting a 3 hour journey to our final destination. About 3 hours later we made a lunch stop at a hotel buffet place where we ate a pure-carb lunch of rice, noodles and chips (with a few pieces of chicken)  and then changed buses.

I think our bus must have had a carbohydrate-heavy lunch as well because it crawled up the hills on the way to Taman Negara and made pretty slow progress through all the palm plantations that now replaced the rainforest.

After a detour to 'Hans Travel' in Jerantut, we arrived in Kuala Tahan - the access village to the rainforest - at about 6.30pm.

By this time we were thankful that we had booked our first night's stay through Hans and made our way to Tahan Guesthouse - a brightly painted place with inspirational signs posted around the place. Our room was equally bright and was painted with pictures of trees and fruit. It also had a little balcony that looked out onto some green space behind and the neighbouring mosque.

We dumped our stuff and went in search of food. Most of the restaurants seemed to be floating on the river rather than in the village itself and we stopped for a surprisingly nice dinner at a place called 'Nusa'. There wasn't very much at all in the village itself though so we were soon back in our room, listening to the loud call from the mosque, signalling that the Ramadan fast should now have been broken.

30th July - Perhentian Islands

We should have left this morning but we really didn't fancy booking a ticket for an early boat and bus journey last night - especially when we were still 'bobbing' from being on boats so much recently.

Instead, we decided to spend the day doing island things - so basically going to the beach, swimming in the sea and doing very little.

After a frustrating morning of computer nonsense, we finally made it to Long Beach - and promptly fell asleep. Normally, I apply sunscreen before I go out and again when we're outside but I was fast-on before I even though about my second-coat. At least 3 hours later, I woke up very thankful that I was still in the shade. I quickly stuck on some sunscreen and spent a little time reading and swimming.

On the walk back to our room, I started noticing that a few places felt a little more tender than usual. After a shower, I assessed the damage. A few little areas were annoyingly red and sore but most embrrassingly, I realised my filtrum, eyelids and chin were all burnt - giving me the look of someone with a severe cold.

29th July - Perhentian Island

Today we had a wonderful day snorkelling around the island. The trip was run by Matt at Maya's guesthouse so I'll try not to mention him too much to avoid confusion! He didnpt come out nto the water with us because it was Ramadan but he was a nice guy with a good sense of humour.

First stop wasTurtle Point where we immediately saw a turtle. I felt a bit sorry for the poor thing because boat-loads of tourists all turned up at the same time and started following him around. He didn't appear to be too fussed but I guess it's hard to tell with a turtle!

Shortly after, one of the boat men pointed out another one and, for a while, it had a small entourage of about 6 people but it wasn't very long before that one too was pretty much mobbed. Matt eventually got tired of being kicked in the face by over-enthusiastic turtle-watchers and went back to the boat but I could barely drag myself away.

My favourite parts were when the turtles surfaced to breathe before suberging again. It was then we got to see its other more conventional fishy companions which were constantly attached to its underside. Less pleasant was having stern words with the morons who kept diving dive to touch it - or even worse, reaching for it when it was trying to breathe.

We had a waterproof camera from Maya Matt and Peter managed to get a few good snaps so hopefully our Matt will manage to post some of them up with the blog.

Next stop was Shark Point. Only Johan saw a shark here but we did get to see lots and lots of pretty corals and fishes, including some pretty hefty ones. Apparently, the shark swam straight past me but I was too busy watching something else.

Next on the itinerary was Turtle Beach. So-called because that's where the turtles go to lay their eggs. However, Maya Matt assured us we would be able to see sharks there. We were all swimming around, keeping our eyes peeled because it was quite a cloudy day so there wasn't much light, when Matt and Janet called us over to where they were because, as Janet said, there were the biggest fish she had ever seen.

She was not wrong! There were 7 or 8 MASSIVE Bumphead Parrot Fish and they were amazing! They were over a metre long with a kind of 'beak' and teeth that you wouldn't want to get close too. They are herbivores and not considered dangerous but it's hard not to feel intimidated by something bigger than you, especially when it has the tools to break and eat tough corals. They can also change their sex which is pretty cool too! Unfortunately, we hadn't taken the camera off the boat with us that time but I think Maya Matt may have given us some pictures that he's taken previously.

Soon after that, we started to see black-fin reef sharks. They were hard to spot because they're the same colour as the water and they are pretty shy but I saw 3 and Matt said he saw 6! They were less scary than the Parrot Fish because they swam away from you pretty speedily, especially if they thought you were following them. It was still an amazing experience though.

After all the excitement of the morning, we stopped at the fishing village for some lunch. It was nice food but I felt sorry for Maya Matt because, even though he joined us, he wasn't able to eat or drink anything. It was still good humoured though and we were glad he was there.

After lunch we went to the Lighthouse where we dived the other day. We saw lots of big schools of fish  and enjoyed looking at the colourful corals again but, again, it was quite busy with people snorkelling and jumping off the lighthouse. We could see see the divers below the surface and the place where man-Holly had scratched 'Anji, Matt and Toby were here' into the concrete block that secured the buoy.

Last stop was Romantic Beach. Maya Matt (I haven't succeeded in not mentioning him much have I?) was clearly flagging with lack of food and water by then but he was still happy for us to take our time exploring the reef and looking for the blue-spotted stingray that were resting there. Matt and I managed to find one but there was no chance of getting a picture of it.

We swam across the beach to look around the rocks at the other side and it was sad to see so much broken, dead coral in the middle. This is hardly a surprise when we've seen the number of idiots who stand on the them but it also made us appreciate our impact as tourists too. There wasn't much on the other side so we returned to the first side and explored there until Maya Matt called us back.

After such a full day we were all shattered and keen to get copies of the pictures so we could go and get showered. I haven't had chance to look at them all yet but I'm sure they'll appear on the blog or Facebook at some point.

We had a very lovely evening at Shari' La restaurant, over-looking the sea, eating lots of food at their all-you-can-eat buffet. Matt was particularly impressed by the curious inclusion of old-fashioned British desserts of bread and butter pudding and blancmange.

28th July - Perhentian Island

We had another awesome day diving today. In the morning we went to the 'Temple' dive site. You can see the pinnacle above the water and it widens as you go deeper. We had a great time exploring the reefs and fishes with Rick and I could list all the stuff we saw but it'll probably be boring and I don't recognise most of them so I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to. With the exception of clownfish of course! There's must be very few people who wouldn't be able to identify Nemo.  Actually, dive-Holly says that Finding Nemo is pretty accurate so there's an excuse to finally get round to watching it.

At midday we had a quick lunch of super-spicy fried rice. It wasn't supposed to be but when we asked for it to be just a little spicy, I wonder if they misunderstood and thought we asked for really tiny chillies because I only picked half out and there were still at least 8 chillies on the side of my plate!

We also said our goodbyes to girl Holly who had made a spur-of-the moment decision to go to Siem Reap again.

The afternoon dive we went to the lighthouse. It was absolutely stunning and hard to beieve that so many amazing things were living so close to the surface. We had to be a little careful and keep close to the coral because people jump from the lighthouse and we didn't want them to land on our heads. Matt ran out of air earlier than us but we got to drop him off at the surface, see him to the boat and then continue diving for a little longer. We've mainly dived for around 40 minutes before but it was really great to be able to stay down for a whole hour. It still didn't feel like any time at all though!

When we got back, we filled in our log-books, chatted to everyone for a while and then went with Johan to look into snorkelling tomorrow. We've loved diving but even though it's cheap here, it still starts to stack up, and it's meant to be easier to see sharks and turtles on the snorkelling trips so we're looking forward to that!
Our evening was spent sitting on the beach eating a tasty (fish!) BBQ and chatting to Johan. Walking back along the beach to the sound of violins from Shari-La hotel was rather a pleasant change from the usual island soundtrack of thumping music.

27th July - Perhentian Islands

We got up at a reasonable time for the first time in days and got ready to go diving at D'Lagoon. Even before we started there was such a different approach with Ombak than DJL - much calmer, better organised, clearly explained. There were only 4 of us going and we just had a little boat so it was easier for them but we also preferred it.

The two guys doing the Open Water Course, Johan and Toby, went diving with Holly and we went with Rick, the owner. We both had a much easier descent and it made a big difference not to feel like we were holding people up. Our ears equalised much more easily and we were still going down when we saw a Hawkshead turtle in the distance. I was so excited and can't wait to go snorkling and maybe see some more, closer up.

The dive itself was amazing and, because it was a little boat, we only had to do a backward roll into the water rather than the horrible 'giant stride'. We also got to grips with bouyancy and swimming horizontally a little better. We took our time swimming around and felt like we were taking a lot more in and paying more attention to the fish and the corals. We even saw a huge Grouper in the distance. Rick was great and pointed out several things to us and even let us touch a sea-cucumber and play with some cleaner shrimp. We were doing pretty well with our air and had been down about 40 minutes when poor Matt got stung by a jellyfish and guzzled up most of what he had left.

Back on the boat Matt was treated with vinegar and was much braver and less moany than I would have been. We were soon joined by Holly, Toby and Johan and headed back to the dive centre for a debrief. Unlike our Open Water Course, Holly took some time to discuss the fish we had seen and show us some pictures so we could record it in our dive log.

26th July - Perhentian Island

We slept in in our lovely clean bed and then joined girl-Holly for a nic breakfast at Ewan's.

We took a wander across the island to Long Beach which is actually what it says on the tin - a beautiful, long, white, sandy beach with stunning blue, calm water. We skirted the crowds and found a nice shady spot for a laze and a read for several hours. We swam in the sea and enjoyed the fine, sandy sea bed in comparison the the rockiness of Coral Beach but, because of the loack of rocks and coral, there weren't any fish or sea-life to look at.

After dinner, we booked our dive with Ombak and enjoyed a bit more of a chat with charasmatic dive-holly. We tried our equipment on and were impressed by the newness and quality of it, as well as the fact that it wasn't just thrust on us on the morning of the dive.

I spent the rest of the evening trying to write blog but, after I'd got sucked into Facebook, the battery was low and I couldn't face sitting in the hot room so it could charge. Instead, I enjoyed more time reading and chilling on our little balcony outside our room.

25th July - Penang to Perhentien Island

We were up at 4am to get ready for the 5am minibus. We commandeered a seat on the front row in the hope it would be a more comfortabe ride but I had a rocking, clicking seat that kept reclining itself onto the legs of the poor guy behind. Combined with the windy road and sharp braking, we didn't get much sleep but the bus driver very nice and friendly and made regular short stops so the 5 1/2 hour journey still flew by.
We arrived at Kuala Besut about 10.30, signed in at the surprisingly helpful desk and took our first speed boat. It cut through the water at a thrilling speed, bouncing up and doown dramatically and  spraying us all with water. It was really good fun and the kids on the boat didn't stop grinning. The water was an amazing colour and the islands looked a lot better preserved than the Thai islands we'd seen.

We dropped a few others off at their respective beaches and arrived at our destination, Coral Bay. We were last off the boat because I couldn't stop looking at the school of fish that were next to boat and resting in the shade of the pier. We hardly walked a few paces down the pier when we saw a shark gliding through the shallows. We also spotted a long, thin swordfish type thing and big, pretty, colourful ones.

I left Matt in the shade and enquired along the beach about accomodation but most places full or too expensive. It came to a toss up between Ewan's and Aur-Bay. Ewan's was not available until after 3, was only free for one night and even though it had nice chalets, they looked onto a patch of land that was being landscaped.  Aur-bay was not so nice but it was on the beach, available immediately and cheaper. We went for tight option to save a couple of quid a night.

After a quick shower, when I realised there was no sink and the floor had a constant pool of water (which meant I had to take my trousers off to take a wee!) we asked around a few of the schools about diving. We stopped at Ombak diving school first. We were expecting a price and the name of a site or two but were given a very detailed and passionate explanation of the options by a guy called Holly. We both took to him immediately and foud ourselves wishing he'd taught us to dive. We also asked at Quiver and, though they were nice, we preferred the personal approach of Holly. Unfortunately, Matt's ears were still feeling bad with the 'Baro Trauma' he sustained at Koh Tao after not equalising properly and so decided to give it a day or so before taking the dive.

Back at the room, Matt fell to sleep but the bed smelled funny so I couldn't drop off. Instead I wandered the few metre to the beach. There was no shade at all by this time so I went in the sea. The tide was out and it was really rocky underfoot and so didn't swim. I could have braved the rocks and walked in further but to be honest, even though I knew the sharks weren't dangerous, I didn't fancy running into one alone and so gave up and sat on the balcony outside our room.

Under the opposite bungalows, there was a large 'swamp' where all of the shower water ran out into the ground. I thought I's seen something swimming in it earlier but,as I sat there, 2 HUGE lizards over a metre long came out and faced each other off for a bit. They scrurried back in the water before Matt got a look at them but they were like mini dinosaurs.

We went to a beach front restaurant for food and to watch the sun set. We bumped into a girl called Holly who I'd briefly met earlier and so asked her to join us so we could pass the time while the family at the restaurant broke their Ramadan fast and started taking orders again. We had a nice chat about her job which was interesting because she works at a mine in Mongolia teaching safety and had a few funny stories about how strange it could be, especially at the fortnightly disco.

We went back to go to bed but the bed smelled so fusty that I took a closer look. The pillow cases were mouldy and the bed covers didn't look much healthier so I asked at reception for some different ones. When I took covers off I was horrified to find that the pillows themselves were black with a respiritary disease level of mould. I quickly ran up to Ewan's to ask if the room was still free and felt lucky to discover that someone had cancelled. Back at Aur-bay, I spoke to the cocky guy there and found out that he was well aware of the problem. He would not give us all our money back and was quite rude and dismissive. We packed our stuff, asked whether they fancied returning the rest of the money in exchange for the lock and, since they didn't, we out the padlock on the foor and took the key as a souvineer.

Ewan's Place was even more lovely than I remembered now that it wasn't full of workmen and I kicked myself for not checking in there in the first place. Ewan himself was as sweet and generous as when I met him earlier and offered to make us some food even though the kitchen was closed. After all the excitement, it was about 1.30am before I feel asleep.

24th July - Penang

We planned to spend the day at Penang National Park so went to find somewhere for a filling and healthy breakfast. Somehow, I ended up with a fried roti banana which was bizarrely served with a spicy masala sauce. It started chucking it down before we'd even finished so we waited for the rain to slow a little before heading out to catch the bus.
The aircon on the bus was set to 'arctic' again and so I was grateful for the extra layers of waterproof jacket and a cardy, even thought it was still pretty cold.

We checked in at the National park entrance (so that they could come and get us if we didn't return) and decided on the walk to Turtle Beach rather than Monkey Beach. There were lots of steps climbing up and down and we were very sweaty but the walk was only an hour or so and we barely came across anyone else - just a group of 3 guys who appeared to be running and so were obviously insane. We did see a huge centipede and a few butterflies though.

Turtle beach was quite nice and was deserted but we didn't see any turtles. We didn't do much there apart from I had a nice snooze on a bench and we snacked on a healthy lunch of dried fruit, chocolate filled wafer biscuits and deep-fried masala beans.

The walk  back was equally sweaty but didn't seem as far. We were enticed into to a nearby called 'Mom's and Pop's' by a Malaysian/Indian taxi driver and enjoyed some tasty local curries as we chatted to him.
The bus back was still freezing but not too bad now that we weren't soaked with rain. We got off at a local shopping centre called Komtar to do some wire shopping so we could replace the bag of wiress we left on Koh Tao. Miraculously, we stumbled across compouter section in the middle of otherwise deserted market, and found almost everything we needed. I did break accidentally break the clips (on both sides!) of my precious bumbag and so felt rather sulky as we looked at a few andriod phones . Taking a basic phone with me was a bit of a mistake because we mostly get wifi at restaurants when we don't actually have the laptop with us.

We took the free bus back near ur guesthouse and I got into a conversation with a nice Malaysian old man. We had been chatting for a while when he told me he'd been really sick and had been to the doctors and I hope he didn't notice when I started leaning back and covering my mouth. I then became more aware that he had a line of what looked like vomit around his mouth and a slick of browny/orange in his mouth and round his teeth. After this I struggled to concentrate and was quite relieved when he got off.

It was getting late by the time we returned and so spent a practical hour or so packing and going to the ATM, ready for our early start tomorrow.

23rd July - Penang

Struggled to wake up again due to airless, windowless room and so were late getting started.
After breakfast of our first Nasi Lemak (coconut rice with anchovy sambal) we went to the bus stop where we thought we could get the bus to the National Park. After waiting a long while for a bus that was apparently due every 5 mins there was still no sign so we hopped on the free shuttle bus that we couldn't find yesterday. We did a circuit of Georgetown and ended up back where we were before finally hitting jetty main station.

By this time it was past lunch so we amended plans and went to Penang Hill funicular instead. It's apparently the largest one in Malaysia and it was quite fun to ride even though I didn't enjoy it as much as the one in Hong Kong. I annoyed a lady who had pushed past us in the queue by refusing to move for the other two people she was waiting for so I guess I must be getting more self-assured in my old age. The view over the city was expansive but, like Hong Kong, the visibility was rubbish due to the weather.

We had a giggle about the 'Owl Museum' at the top because when I asked of there were any real owls there, the guy looked at me like I was insane!  I'm not sure of the appeal of a whole museum of stuff shaped like owls but someone must like it. We walked around top to 'Monkey Cup' carniverous plant garden and waved at the lazy gits who took the golf-buggy ride along the same route. I accidentally waved at the ;ady who took the huff with me and so ended up looking like a smug git but she waved back, despite looking very confused.
We bought some very tasty chickpeas (a surprise to Matt) and took a look around the Hindu temple and the outside of the mosque, both of which had been build for the people building the original railway.

The journey back down the funicular was a bit more scary because they packed it so full that I was afraid that it would go flying and crush us all into flesh soup at the bottom but we arrived safely and caught the bus to nearby Kek Lok Si buddhist  temple. We stopped to try the local speciality, Penang Laksa, which is a fishy stew that sounded lovely in theory (and was rated 7th most tasty world food by the New York Times) but was a bit too strong tasting for me.

Walked up to temple through an indoor market. The first thing we saw was the seven storey octagonal based 'Pagoda of 10,000 Buddhas' towering up in front of us and beyond, the rambling, multi-level complex of prayer halls, pagodas, bell towers and just about every other typical temple structure you can think of, in varying styles from Burmese to Chinese to Thai.

We took the inclined lift (more fun than the funicular) to very top to see the 30.2m bronze statue of Kuan Tin. As well as that and the other impressive statues, there were also smallish plaster-type figures spread around the garden including ones of Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

After walking down the big hill and catching the bus back to Georgetown, we went in search of more food from 'the leaflet' and tried Won Ton Mee and chicken satay sticks at the street stalls near our guesthouse.
We had a quick explore of the classier end of town with its expensive bars and hotels and took ourselves to bed.

22nd July - Penang

Despite learning in China that there is very little that I like about Chinese food, we somehow ended up having breakfast at Chinese place. Turns out that even toast and porridge are gross!

We went to Penang State Museum and learned about the multi-cultural origins of island. There was lots to look at and read but the really fun bit was finding the dressing up section. My second 'discovery' of the day was that Matt suits a fez, wrap and blazer combo - who'da thunk it? It was especially fun because we were soon joined by a young guy from the museum who took great pleasure in dressing us.

We headed back through little India for lunch and enjoyed a South Indian thali whilst thinking of Nic and our jaunt to Kerala.

There was a shuttle bus that circled the city but we waited for it for quite a while and it didn't show. Determined not to be thwarted, we set off on foot, looking for some of the places of interest on the tourist map. We saw lots of Chinese temples and mosques as well as a few interesting colonial-style buildings. We also discovered a street art installation type thing with a bike stuck to a wall with kids painted on the the wall itself and a phone box with 'fitting room' graffitied on the front and a guy changing spray-painted inside.

Shortly after stumbled across a flea market and Matt enjoyed wandering around looking for new cables to replace the ones that he left at Silver Sands in Koh Tao. Compared to car-boots back home, the people had very little on their stalls but it was still interesting to nosy at what people were getting rid of.

We headed back to the sea front to look at some of the buildings there and stopped for a cold drink. I tried chrysanthemum tea (not a fan) and Matt had 'lychee juice' - which was actually just the syrup out of a tin of lychees!

We visited Fort Cornwallis but didn't feel like reading the nonsensical boards so just enjoyed exploring the gunpowder store (shaped like a teletubby house), the cannons, the spooky, empty chapel and the prison. The fort was built for admin purposes not defense which was lucky 'cos it was tiny, though apparently it's the largest standing fort in Malaysia.

We sat outside the fort for a while, watching a tall Western lad play basketball with bunch of Indian kids and decided to spend our evening searching out some of the dishes outlined in a leaflet we discovered about how great Penang food is.

We found and tried Roti Canai, a soft, fluffy roti served on a banana leaf with a dash of curry; Mee Goreng, fried noodles in a thick, spicy tomato gravy with tofu and  stewed squid (apparently but we couldn't find any); Ais Kacang, shaved ice with sweetened syrups, jelly, condensed milk and sweetcorn (all of Asia seems to think it's a fruit and they put it in sundaes at McDonald's - they also do a sweetcorn rather than apple pie!). It also contained pearl barley instead of the traditional 'sweetened red beans' but I'm not sure if that's an improvement or not!

21st July - Some boat somewhere to Penang

The boat docked in the early hours and we peeled ourselves off our neighbour and disembarked. We were collected by a surly tuk tuk driver who took us to a tour office where I slept leant on a table until we were collected by the bus to Had Yai.

We were meant to be there at 10.30 but the bus took rest stop at 10am and didn't arrive til 12.30 - giving us just enough time to remove our bags and jump onto the next minibus.

The Malaysian border crossing simplest yet. We didn't even have an entry card to fill in and were just asked for fingerprints instead. We did have to lug our bags through for x-rays though they didn't even look at the screen.

Back on bus we continued towards Butterworth, stopping only for our first taste of scrummy Malaysian food and to change money. We planned to go to Butterworth to get the ferry to Penang but when the driver stopped on a main road, rather than the town itself, we were a little bit thrown. It turned outt hat the bus was going t Penang anyway and was happy to take us so we got back on a luckily avoided a long walk and further transport options.

The first room we looked at was so small door couldn't open. When we said we didn't want it we were taken across the road to Banana Guesthouse where room a bit better but the staff were rude. We were keen to just get rid of our bags and look around so we took it anyway.

When the British comandeered Penang, they encouraged settlers from all over to come and live there. Consequently, it became inhabited by migrants from India, China and Europe, as well as ethinic Malays. Each group brought their foods, traditions and practices and these have been preserved there until today. There are areas dedicated as 'Chinatown' and 'Little India' but actually the cultures live and interact very harmoniously.

After frequent yearnings for Indian food in the last few months have left us disappointed and unsatisfied, we headed straight for Little India. The music, smells and shops there soon convinced us of its authenticity and the somasa stall we visited was all the persuading we needed to dive headfirst into a nearby restaurant.
We walked down to the sea front, around the bustling food courts and stumbled upon a massive Japanese festival going on outside the city hall. We stopped in the throng of people to look at the dance being performed on the big stage and got talking to a young man there. He was clearly Aspergers and talked to us for a long time, giving us facts and figures about the festival, Thailand and the UK.

There was lots going on and a really lively atmosphere so we spent quite a while just walking around, looking at the groups of people sitting on the grass or looking at the many stalls that were there.

After watching more dancing, we were about to head back when we realised that our watches were an hour out because of the time difference and so decided to stay for the grande finale fireworks display. The fireworks were let off from Fort Cornwallis nearby and, although they were nice to watch, what was more fun was listening to the exaggerated chorus of 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the crowd.

27th May - Hoi An

Woke up fairly late and decided that I ought to do what it seems everyone does in Hoi An and visit a tailor to get some shirts made up as the stuff I have with me no longer fits properly.

After a quick wander round and having no idea which tailor to pick as pretty much every second shop is a tailor in Hoi An I decided on the shop recommended to me by my hotel. They seemed professional and their example shirts seemed nicely made. I decided on two different fabrics for my shirts, was measured and asked a few questions about how I'd like my shirt, the fit, etc. I'd also taken along one of my current shirts so they could copy the style. I was asked to come back at 7:30pm for a fitting and that was that.

The old town of Hoi An is small and well preserved, it's a nice place to wander for a few hours depsite how touristy it is. As I mentioned before, every other shop is a tailor and the ones between sell souvenirs, fake North Face bags and everything else the tourist desires. Still, I had a pleasant few hours wandering the streets.

I eventually meandered to the river and sat down for a coffee (Vietnamese coffee is awesome) and to read my book on the river front. After a while I noticed the table of Vietnamese teenagers next to me looking like they wanted to talk so I put the book down and before long one of came over and asked for a photo. It turned out that they were all tourism students at Danang university who'd come to Hoi An on a trip with their lecturers. It was funny talking to them, as I'd ask a question and they'd all confer with each other to create the english response before passing it on to whoever was talking. They were all very nice and after I'd finished my coffee they asked me to walk up to their bus with them so we could carry on chatting.

After a bit more wandering it was time to head back to the tailors for the fitting. Everything seemed fine with the shirts so I took them there and then saving a trip in the morning.

12th to 15th April - Koh Mak

Baan Ing Kao was truly lovely and we had a fabulous time there. However, to save you all from endless mentions of relaxing walks down the beach and what-have-you, I'm am going to try a list of highlights and low-lights.

Highlights (in chronological order):

1) Finding a bikini - it's a bit skimpy but it's lovely. Navy blue with gold spots and red ties. Yay!

2) Seeing our cute little beach hut by the sea and its hammocks

3) Walking on the beautiful, empty, white sand beach, next to the blue, blue sea and swinging on a coconut tree.

4) Watching Matt try to get a coconut fresh from the tree

5) Seeing the sandbank across the sea where you could just walk to another beautiful island at low-tide.

6) All the scrummy food at Baan Ing Kao. We were quite far away from the rest of the resorts but didn't have to leave our haven unless we wanted to.

7) Waiting until the sun went down and then walking across narrow part of the island to get to the other side. It was deserted, the sea was incredible there and the sea bed was sandy and soft. We had to walk for ages until it got deep enough to swim and we felt like we had found a little piece of heaven.

8) Watching Matt get freaked by being stared out bu a tiny, inquisitive little fish that would not leave him alone.

9) Dragging Matt through the water back to the beach by his arm.

10) Saying hello to the old man who came to the beach with a beer and his dogs to watch the sun go down every night.

11) Getting to know a copke of Swedish guys, Atte and Jouko and Atte's Thai girlfriend, Noknoi.

12) Going to the temple for Songkran (more about that later) and then heading out in the back of the truck armed with plastic bottles with their lids pierced ready for the water fights.

13) Stopping for fuel at the 'gas station' where they manually had to crank fuel into the tanks before letting in run down a tube into the truck. (I am certain I could have been more technical about that.)

14) Going to the pub all soaked from water fights and having a few beers before playing the most antique game of table football I've ever seen. Matt and I spent most of our time tipping the table or blowing the ball when it ground to a sudden halt where neither player could reach it.

15) Meeting our Canadian friends Diane and Joe who we spent many happy hours and with whom I learned more about the Christian faith than I've even really understood before.

16) Swimming in the sea with Diane with Matt and Joe napped on the beach. Diane was fabulous and I've missed my girly friends so much that it was a real treat.

17) SEEING FIREFLIES!!!!  If they were in order of preference this one would be first! It was the first time I'd ever seen them and there were hundreds, maybe even thousands! They were all sparkly and mystical as they pulsed around the woods on the side of the path to the bungalows. I loved them! I'd gotten to the point where I suspected that peopel were just making them up to tease me and that they occupied the same realms as unicorns, leprichauns and dragons. I am so glad that they don't.
I was so excited that I lost my t-shirt! But I wasn't wearing it at the time.

18) Sitting in the shelter at the end of the pier, peeling a pineapple and looking into the sea below and around us.

19) Trying to find the signposted 'viewpoint' with Diane and Joe. We walked for ages and never came across it but it was a nice wander.

20) Doing yoga in the sun on the porch of the unoccupied bungalow next to ours. I would have done it on the beach but for the pesk sandflies!


Lowlights:

1) Slipping on a rock the first time that I went for a walk in my beautiful new bikini and getting laughed at my fisherman. I had to walk back all bloody and muddy.

2) Matt getting bitten by red ants as he tried to get a coconut fresh from the tree

3) Being too much of a wimp to cope with what was under my feet as I tried to cross the sandbank across the the beautiful island and not getting chance to go back with my wonderful sea shoes that Rachel bought me.

4) Being told by Atte about a horrific disease that you can get from shellfish after I'd been eating loads of the stuff. He lost the use of his legs for months and the brother of someone he knew died from it!

5) Finding out that plastic bottles were futile against the huge barrels of water being carried by other trucks on Songkran. Our opponants simply scooped and threw and we were soaked within seconds and totally unable to see where to aim ourselves.

6) Some of the barrels of water containing ice.

7) Finding out from the Dulcie (thank you Dulcie, you have beeen a real Godsend and we really appreciate it!  xxx) that Barclays have sent me a letter saying that they are now familiar with my complaint and are investigating. If they knew anything about my complaint then they wouldn't be writing to be at home would they!

8) Eating durian fruit in the shelter at the end of the pier. It is disgusting! It smells foul, it tastes like it smells and it clearly knows itself that it shouldn't be eaten because it's made itself so spiky and heavy that it's painful to handle! And yes, I know this isn't how natural selection works but I prefer to think that the durian fruit's ony redeeming feature is the fact that it tries to save humanity from just how rank it is.

9) Getting sunburnt in the shade of the shelter at the end of the pier, despite the fact that I was wearing the suncream that protected me during long, hot days in Greece. Damn the photosensitivy side-effect of Doxycycline!

10) Trying to dangle my feet in the water from the pier and getting cuts from the billions of barnacles stuck there.

11) Matt 'realising' (while I was in the shower) that he hadn't changed the flight from Singapore and that it was due to leave the following day and rushing out to find wifi so that he could Skype. I got out of the shower and panicked because he was wearing sandals and hadn't taken a torch and, thinking that he was walking miles down dark roads and through forests, both of which had snakes, scorpions and several other nasties,  ran after him wearing nothing but a towel and calling his name. There was no answer and I went to Diane and Joe's in a bit of a teary panic. Joe had just got his shoes on to come and help (I'm still not sure what we would have done really) when Matt turned up and declared that he'd found a wifi connection really close and that he'd already changed the flights anyway!

12) Not being able to speak to my mum on her birthday,
Phew, and I thought we hadn't really done much there! Imagine how much longer that would have been if it was written in continuous prose. You'd have been bored silly!

Now, just in case that wasn't enough, it's for a fuller account of our visit to the temple at Songkran:
We'd managed to get ourselves invited because Noknoi was a devout Buddhist and so had arranged to go to the temple with the family who owned the resort. Matt and I were looking forward to getting a bit more immersed in the culture after all of our beach hovering (I'd like to say 'lounging' but the sodding sandflies stopped all those shenanigans!) and it would be our first time in a temple during a ceremony.

I had woken up super-early with an allergic skin reaction to something or other and so was feeling quite spaced out and serene after watching the sunrise and comings and goings of fishermen, but at around 7am we all started to assemble.

Now the culture of Buddhism in these parts involves giving lots of offerings. Since our arrival in Bangkok we've seen spirit house of all shapes and sizes, given pride of place both indoors and out. From large, ornate, golden structures to simple doorstep arrangements, they usually have a little idol, incense sticks and an offering of food: we've seen everything from bottles of strawberry Fanta (including a straw!) to scraps of rice and meat on saucers. Our hostel in Bangkok always had fresh fruit which, when it was on the verge of turning, was deposited in the fridge for guests to eat and replaced with something better.

This is also extended at Songkran, when people take offerings of food to the temple to feed the monks. In the run-up to today, we'd been quite curious about the 'monk baskets' that we'd seen for sale in a number of places. Tesco had a load of them and we'd previously spent time poking them and wondering what use the monks had for some of the odd items contained within. We'd also seen lots of brightly coloured shirts on sale which we could only assume for for the same festival since we hadn't yet seen anyone wearing them.
Noknoi had made up her own monk basket including sensible things such as dried goods, soap and toothpaste but also had a selection of food and rice. We then saw the food that the family had assembled: bags and bags of curries and soups and other tasty-looking dished were collected together, along with a big bowl of rice, and deposited on the truck. We all climbed onboard, squidged up together and heady down the bumpy track to cross the island to the temple, stopping ony to collect one or two other people (and their food) along the way.

When we arrived at the temple, it was still fairly quiet but I was very careful to try to start putting into place all of the etiquette that I'd read up on such as entering the temple with the correct foot and positioning myself in such a way as to make sure my feet would not be pointing toward the monks. I am particularly scared of accidentally toucing a monk and making him endure days of cleansing and fasting rituals but I managed to stay clear of the one who took his sandals off next to me.

Inside the temple, the family joined other early arrivals,  transferring their bags of food to plates which were set on a low table in front of the main stage, and rejoining their familes, still holding their rice. Most people were still standing around and we were feeling awkward about what to do with ourselves but Noknoi told us to get settled and so we positioned ourselves on the matts on the floor and hoped that we weren't in anyone's way.

There were several people addressing the shrine in the corner of the temple and after they'd finished, Noknoi lit 3 incense sticks each for us and instructed us on how to hold them, bow towards Buddha and stand them in the pot of sand which held many other burning sticks. I always find these moments quite uncomfortable as I'm never sure whether it is more insulting to particpate in rituals I do no understand or believe in, or whether to make a bumbling effort to get involved. I realy do not mind either way and I do quite like getting involved but I am always so worried about offending people.

We sat back down and several monks filed on to the low stage at the front. Each of them crouched down and rested the cloth bag they were carrying on the floor, equidistant to one another, uncovering the large brass-looking bowls contained within. They wiped them carefully and arranged lids to the side before moving away again.

As more people arrived at the temple, with a range of colourful, flowered shirts finally on show,  they transferred their food the the ever-growing selection there. More tables were fetched, along with large trays on wheels, and the piles of food, drinks, fruits and sweets continued to pile up.

Each family then carried their rice to the front and placed a spoonful in each of the monk's bowls. It seems important that the family remained a 'unit' as they did this and we witness some quite comical shuffles as several adults and children held on to one another, and the spoon, and scooted their way along the row of 7 bowls.

After everyone had performed this ritual settled on the floor, the monks then came back in a sat cross-legged behind their bowls and returned the lids back on top. The second monk picked up the microphone and gave a short address in English directed at  Swedes and us and, although we could barely understand a word, we laughed and nodded along with the obviously kind and generous sentiment that he was extending.
The next period of time was a combination of talking, prayers and chanting. The chanting was just wonderful. I loved closing my eyes and letting the vibrations and rhythms undulate through me. I couldn't get my head around the prayers and talking though. Despite all the demonstrations of religious respect and reverance prior to this it seems that people didn't really take much notice of the monks when they were speaking.  Every time the head monk spoke or prayed, many people appeared disinterested and continued to chatter and communicate with one another. The family in front of us had bizarrely brought a tiny, skinny, half-bald, shivering laptop with them and gave most of their attention to entertaining it, clutching it and retrieving it after it scrambled from their arms. One of them spent most of the time fiddling with their Android phone and even took a telepone call half-way through a prayer. The monks didn't seem to mind so much though and remained focused on their blessings.

After this, we then watched and waited as each plate of food was loaded onto the trays and presented to the head monk, who took what he wanted and rolled the rest to the next monk in line. The food was served by the apparent leaders of the 'congregation':  the head monk recieved the food directly from the man but the woman was required to place the food in front of him so that he could use a cloth to retrive it. Each monk kept a separate pile for drinks and used the lid of their bowls as a plate for fruit but everything else went in their giant bowl together. I was fascinated (and a little squeamish) as they piled boiled eggs, curry, jam roly-poly, chicken and chilli, sweet jellies, fish and every other food there on top of the rice in their bowls. Another blessing later and they all tucked in.

Then came the free-for-all frenzy. Now the monks were eating, it was time for everyone else to grab what they wanted and sit in small groups of family and friends to polish off whatever was left. It was all surprisingly good humoured despite the fact that everyone seemed to have eyed-up and grabbed the dishes brought by other people. We were a little bemused at this point as we really weren't sure what to do but Noknoi got a few of the things that were left we sat down together to enjoy a few cold curries and stews for breakfast.
Afterwards, I followed Noknoi to wash the plates and return them to the big pile in the corner of the temple while everyone else filed outside. Songkran is a water and white powder festival and so were were expecting something along the lines of what we'd seen in Nepal but it was all very tame indeed. There were a few buckets of water and scoops placed around the *Bodyah* tree so that people could pour water into the hands of the large, cross-legged Buddhas surrounding it, and we were dampened gently on the shoulder or hands a few times but it was all very tame and respectful.

We poured water on the Buddhas and wished several people a happy Songkran before climbing back aboard the truck and heading back. On the way back we festivities started heating up slightly and we were pelted with water and talcum powder by a few passing jeeps and people assembled outside shops and hotels. More uncomfortable however, were the number of face lashings I recieved from the overhanging trees because I didn't catch the multi-lingual warnings and kept turning around at the wrong time!

Back at the resort, we changed our clothes and prepared ourselves to go back out and water battle! (See highlights and lowlights earlier)

11th April - Trat to Koh Mak

Opposite Da' Guy was a cafe called 'Cool Corner'. We'd eyed it up a few times because it claimed to have home-made brown bread (Oh, how I miss grainy loaves!) but hadn't quite made it there yet. Until this morning, when we entered into it's beautifully decorated interior with its wonderful paintings and quirky menus on CD and DVD cases and enjoyed the finest breakfast yet. Simple but delicious scrambled egg on toast.

We still couldn't decide on another island or Cambodia and so I extended my pleasure in my surroundings by undertaking my favourite past-time of reading the guest books. They were really useful for both alternatives and, with a little input from the lovely cafe lade, we eventually decided on Koh Mak.  We booked a catarmaran online, the lady in our hotel organised a free pick-up and by 1.30 pm we were on our way in a songthaew.

At the pier, we waited ages in the sun for them to load piles of produce before we were allowed on the boat. After a little snooze, a Thai lady behind us started a conversation that would lead to a few days of friendship. She said that her English-speaking friends called her Rose. I thought she said her name was Lois (oops) so I was glad I got her to write it down.

We had only booked one night in accomodation because it was Songkran weekend (Thai new year) and we were expecting to have to have a good look around because everywhere would be packed more than on the bank holiday.

I started chatting to a white guy on the pier in the hope of finding out somewhere else to stay but couldn't help noticing that his legs made my mosquito munching suffering look like a paper-cut. They were a mess. A pussy, infected battleground of scars, bites and pits that he was clearly aggravating more by standing there scratching. I asked whether he was catching the boat back to Trat and he told me he was waiting for produce for the restuarant where he was a chef. I quickly found out where he worked so we could give it a very wide berth!

There was no sign of a pick-up form our hastily arranged accommodation so Rose gave us a lift on the back of her truck, along with all of the fascinating fruits she's bought to stock up her shop.

We checked into our bungalow at Koh Mak Cottage after just a minor confusion. There were big, open spaces to let the mosquitos and crawlies inside and the bathroom like a slaughterhouse but we'd seen worse and it was right on the beach.

We walked along beach, having an explore and looking for somewhere else for the rest of the weekend. There was an equally cheap one (that we had to show ourselves around) with a slightly nicer hut but it was surrounded by lots of standing water so we weren't still weren't sure.

After checking out the length of the beach before it disappeared into the sea, we went for food at Rosie's mum's restaurant. When she found out how the search had gone, she called her friend's place, Baan Ing Kao. Within 15 mins they had sent a guy on a moped so Matt could go view it. He really liked it and booked one of their bungolows right by the water.

Back at the restaurant we ate disappointing food, including weird 'vegetable noodle' made with overcooked lasagne sheets and gravy. Rosie had assured us that it was the best but then went out and came back with something she'd bought for herself which looked loads nicer. She said it was because her mum was too tired to cook but I'm not convinced.

We bought a coconut from her stall and headed back to our bungalow, where Matt attacked it with a hand-held chainsaw from his dad, so I could eat the flesh. The saw said on the packing that it could cut through bone but, even though Matt did eventually get into it, I wont be employing the pair of them for amputations any time soon!