8th June - Hanoi

A pretty uneventful day. We've seen pretty much everything that there is to see in Hanoi. Despite being crazily busy, there isn't that much to do other than a few museums that we're not really interested in and going to see Ho Chiu Min's body at the Mauseleum - which we're never up in time for.

A good few hours were spent looking for a pair of shorts for me. New clothes are always a bit of a trial because Asian women are so tiny and I am not. I tried to look at some things on a stall in the huge indoor market but got my hand slapped away by the woman, who gestured that I was too fat for them.

I found a pair in a shop that had been recommended as selling 'big' sizes by Tuey. Matt helped me pick up everything that was in the largest size and I took them to the changing room, stepped over the woman working there who was asleep in the middle of floor and proceeded to try and squeeze my chunky, sweaty limbs into them. Nothing was very suitable and I soon went off the idea because of the heat and the unlikeliness of finding anything.

After we'd been shepherded down a particular set of stairs and out of the door, Matt spotted a more suitable pair of shorts in the bargain bin and so I made my way back to the sticky-hot changing room. This time, the woman inhabiting it was awake and playing with her phone, though she was still prostrate on the floor. The shorts fit and so I happily made my way downstairs to pay, only to remember that we hadn't been to the ATM and so we had no money.

All that sorted, we pretty much spent the rest of the day mooching around before deciding to go and see how much beer hoi you had to drink to get a hangover. At Beer Hoi 45, we met Harry and Sabi - an Australian guy and French girl. They were really nice and we made our way through many beers, talking about Harry's career as a chef and Sabi's experiences as a language assistant in Birmingham.

On our first visit to Beer Hoi 45, the guy there had shown us a picture of a hugely fat English guy and told us that he had drunk 17 beers. We worked out that those 17 beers had still worked out cheaper than one pint of lager in the UK and much cheaper than in Paris and Australia!

On our way for some food at the end of the evening, Harry's arm was clipped by a bike. He was fine but the bike went down and skidded down the road a bit. The driver was uncharacteristically apologetic but as there was no real damage done, we all went on our way. Given the sheer volume of bikes and people, I'm amazed it wasn't much worse but thankfully it was a quiet time in the street and so no-one else was hurt.

7th June - Hanoi

Had a few calls and emails about the bike in the morning but by the time I'd responded other bikes had been bought, etc. Eventually an Australian guy called and I took him up to see the bike in the parking garage. This parking garage also has a number of Honda Wins for sale and when I was getting my bike out to show the guy, the owners of the garage took them to look at their bikes. Eventually I got the bike out and the potential buyer took it for a ride. When he returned he complained that the back end felt loose and when we looked the rear wheel had come loose and shifted forward, leaving the chain very slack. I found this very odd as the bike had been fine on the ride to Hanoi and hadn't been ridden since. 

I took it around the corner to a mechanic who told me it needed a new chain and sprocket which I didn't believe so tried another garage a couple of doors further down who straight away said all it needed was the rear wheel putting back in position. Two minutes and $1.50 later it was sorted and riding fine. Unfortunately the damage to the sale was done and I didn't hear from the Australian again.

When I returned, Anji had got chatting to two people from the hostel across the road, Bo and Loic. We decided to go for some beer at the Bia Hoi place Anji and I had been to the previous day so headed over there for a few before moving on to the Bun Cha restaurant that had been recommended by Tuey, the manager at our hotel.

We then headed over to the "Hanoi Hilton" prison museum before being told to leave half way around as it was closing and then on to Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum which was closed. After wandering around the park surrounding the mausoleum we decided to head towards Lenin park again, had a few beer hois on the way and spent some time watching the dancers.

 

6th June - Hanoi

In the morning Matt had fun trying to print off some posters to advertise the bike while flooded the bathroom. This wasn't at all intentional but was quite funny. I think I've mentioned the 'bidet' type attachments that they have in Asia, which are basically trigger-operated pressure hoses to be used instead of a toilet brush and also in the absence of toilet paper. Unfortunately, the pipe of the one in our bathroom had persished and sprang of very powerful leak which shredded the hose further and left me soaking wet, gasping for air and wondering what I could do from a remote back room of the 4th floor with no telephone down to reception. Luckily, there was a stopcock on the shower that did the trick and I got changed out of my drenched clothes and traipsed down to reception to report it.

We spent most of the rest of the day searching the many bag stalls for a Timbuk2 bag that Matt had spotted on our way past as we headed back to our hotel yesterday. Though he maintains that he didn't imagine it, we couldn't find it and so Matt started the first of a series of negotiations regarding a different one that he quite fancied.

To keep myself entertained, I considered buying some doughnut-type things from one of the very persistent woman who walk around with baskets of them hung around their necks. She tried to charge me $5 and I was just in the process of bargaining when we were surrounded by a bunch of Malaysians all trying to talk to me, her and each other. It got very confusing and when Matt turned around -  it looked as if I'd started a bit of a riot. I ducked out, had a quick chat about Malaysia with a nice couple from the group and the bag-search continued.

The next few hours were spent discovering the joys of 'bia hoi' in a very cheap place in the old town. I'm sure one of us has mentioned it before but if not, it's a beer that is brewed fresh every day and served at outdoor stalls. We were paying 5000 dong per glass (about 30p) and it is just perfect for hot weather - it's not too strong, very pleasant and occasionally very cold. It's also about half the price of water!

A nice man in the the bia hoi place helped me learn some Vietnamese words and how to pronounce them. They have 6 'tones' in Vietnamese and it's very easy to get it wrong and say something completely different to what you intended. He also showed us a picture on his phone of a big English guy who had drunk a staggering (to this guy, not so much to English people) 17 beers. I'm hardly surprised when it comes to less than the price of a pint back home!

Later that day, we watched a lovely sunset over the lake then popped back to our hotel for a quick change (stopping in each direction for Matt to haggle with a bag-shop owner of course) before heading to the Water Puppet Theatre.

Water puppet theatre originated in the rice paddies of Northern Vietnam over 1000 years ago and puppeteers were originally male (they feared that women would take the knowledge away to their husband's families) and trained for a minimum of 3 years in the art form. 11 puppeteers and several musicians make up the one hour show.

We were lucky enough to get a seat in the middle of the 2nd row, next to an interesting Swiss surgeon who was in Vietnam volunteering for Operation Smile - an international organisation helping children with cleft palattes.

The 'stage' was set with a house perched on a body of water and the orchestra played their bizarre looking instruments for a while before a man came out and banged a gong to signal the entrance of the first set of puppets. I had read that the puppets were very realistic and since the man had a big papier mache head (in the style of Frank Sidebottom), I was initially very impressed by how life-like he was. When the tiny puppets appeared in the water in front of the house I realised my mistake.

The puppet show depicted typical events from the lives of rural people, including catching a frog and collecting coconuts, and was accompanied by music and singing. The show culminated in the puppeteers emerging from the house with lotus flowers and a big chinese dragon lit by black light. It was all very pleasent and was very much enjoyed by the few Vietnamese children amongst the many Western tourists.

Final price wars were undertaken on the way back to the hotel and Matt emerged the victorious owner of a $10 geniune Jack Wolfskin bag. We'll soon see how long this one lasts him!

5th June - Cat Ba to Halong Bay to Hanoi

Following a rather meagre breakfast at Sunflower Hotel we jumped on the bus back to Halong Bay. We hadn't been on it very long before it broke down. A replacement bus was surprisingly quick and about 20 minutes later, we were speeding along as though we were several hours late.

At Cat Ba we climbed on a boat and made our way to the top deck to sunbathe on the very hot wooden loungers as we made our way through the beautiful karst dotted around in the water.

In Halong Bay town we stopped for food at restaurant. The few plates of soup, rice and tofu we were given wasn't enought to sustain the 6 people on our table - so much so that the table next to us resorted to eating the left-overs from a recently-vacated table of Vietnamese.

When I went downstairs, I noticed that our surly guide had a feast of real food and so asked if there was any more to come. He motioned to his food with a gesture that said "You can help yourself to mine you greedy cow" and I resisted the temptation to pick up the lot and carry it upstairs and explained the situation instead.
Back upstairs I explained what had happened to the group and soon a woman from the restaurant came up to check. She screamed and shouted at the poor boy who was waiting our tables and when he came back with the food she beat him. I felt terrible, especially as the addition of more rice, tofu and a small plate wasn't worth the discomfort we all experienced.

The two minibuses taking us from Halong to Hanoi turned into one and it would have been uncomfortably full just with the adults and children that were in there, but with the huge bags under our feet, absolutely no wriggling room and the palpable fury of our fellow passengers, it was crammed to bursting. Every swerve was bone-crushing and accompanied by loud moaning and huffing. Matt and I made use of the time to play an entertaining game of Jenga on his tablet.

Back in Hanoi we could not stand the thought of another noisy night at our hotel and went on the sweaty search for a new one. We'd resigned ourselves to staying in a dorm room and were only slighty comforted by the fact that they had a free beer happy hour when we came across VietFun. Thankfully it did not live up to it's party name and was just a nice but small room with a tiny bath and aircon that we negotiated down to the same price as a dorm. It tuned out to be a very good choice as the staff were exceptionally lovely and we ended up there for 6 days. The only down-sides were the 4 flights of stairs that we had to climb each time we wanted to get to our room.

We chilled for a while and I concertinaed myself into the tiny bath before heading out again. We found an ice-cream place and explored the city a little more clutching tasty, home-made lollies.

We stumbled across Lenin square and could see from a distance that there were loads of people and music playing. We side-stepped the tango dancers on the pavement and dodged maniacal rollerbladers to make it up the steps for a closer look.

It was absolutely incredible and a little like stepping into 1980's America. There were so many bodies, all engaged in their own form of excercise, entertainment and socialising. Teenagers clustered in street dance groups performing all kinds of solitary and coordinated dance forms. I realised that I've never seen breakdancing 'in the flesh' and these ones were absolutely astounding. We also fixated for a while on the groups 'popping'. We even witnessed a 'faceoff' of sorts as one pf the body poppers had a breakdancing dual. If they weren't dancing, they were rollerblading, skateboarding or doing bike tricks.

In amongst all of this there were families teaching small children how to skate and watching or steering countless small children in electric cars. It appears that they get trained for the mayhem of the roads from a very young age and none of them made a discernable effort to stay out of the way of the others. There were countless collisions between old, young and younger and every time they would get entagled, fall and then just get on with it - unapologetic and tear-free.

As well as all of this there were drinks-sellers, people with baskets of trickets and LED toys, observers with tiny children toddling into the thick of things and the occasional scooter speeding through. It was all an incredible sight and kept us entertained for several hours. We got tired from simply watching and left about 10.15pm but everyone was still going full throttle.

4th June - Halong Bay to Cat Ba

Woke on top deck to the same apparently unnecessary shouting and calling from the nearby boats that had shocked us awake for the last few very early mornings.

After a skimpy breakfast, we sailed the short distance to Cat Ba island for a nice 'hike in the national park' - otherwise known as a very steep walk up slippery, lethal rocks without any supervision and under strict time restraints. It was particularly tough after last nights shennanigans and was very hot and hard but there were lovely views of the national park from the top. It was very green and a bit misty though so we couldn't get any decent photos.

After a sweaty wait at the bus stop and a hair-raising bus journey where the buses only seemed to overtake on blind mountain bends, we were looking forward to checking in at the hotel and having a shower. No such luck as the schedule dictated we eat lunch in our dripping, dirty clothes before being shown our rooms. At least the food was marginally better that on the boat.


After a long-awaited and very lovely shower we got to go and explore Cat Ba island town. We wandered past the many karaoke bars nearby and made our way to the sea. It was a natural harbour so it was perfectly calm and wavefree and just full of boats. We took a walk around the tourist and proper market then went to take a look at the fishing bay.

We stopped to watch a truck loading a full trailer of ice onto boat, block by block and via kind of toboggan run. Further on we saw the actual ice factory and observed them set up an even longer version atched them set up longer version which ran from a hatch in the factory wall, over the road and directly onto a little boat that seemed to be a floating ice-crusher. We were totally tickled by watching this and wished that we had a camera with us.

We stopped for a Bia Hoi overlooking the harbour, watching a nearby group of boys playing football and having to use a boat to fish their ball out of the sea. We chatted and caught up some more before doing some further wandering. Another stop for Caphe Sua Da (a coffee which brews in a little tin contraption sitting over the cup and is sweetened with condensed milk), looking at floating seafood restaurants, fending off their reps and laughing at the kids scooting around the nearby square in electric cars.

We wandered until dark. It was very pretty and we enjoyed watching the hills get swallowed up by the night and the bright lights come on. We couldn't exactly remember what time we had to be back for dinner so headed to the hotel so we weren't late.

It turned out that we were late. Matt's watch had stopped and so we were served dinner by a very disgruntled owner and were clearly the envy of the next table who'd had to share the same amount of food between fewer people. We chatted to a guy who was teaching in China and on a Visa run and then headed back out to make the most of our stay.

With the aid of the red lights that now illuminated the line of provocatively dressed attractive young ladies sat outside, we deduced that karaoke was not as popular as we'd initially assumed. No-one seemed to take much notice and the most attention seemed to come from the canny young stall holdwers who'd set up shop with a prime view!

Down at the harbour it was really busy with Vietnamese families milling about and making the most of the children's activities including pottery painting (they looked like garden gnomes), more electric cars and hook-a-fish from paddling pools. The harbour was lit by the tacky coloured lights they seem so fond of and the big fountain was gushing and glittering.

We took in the sights for a while, including a massive jellyfish in the water, and played a very short game of frisbee with a hat that we found. It skimmed into one of the beautifully tended patches of greenery and was retrieved by a lady who appeared delighted that we let her keep it. Given the openess of their nit-picking, we had no intention of keeping it ourselves but she skipped alomg happily with it on her head.

3rd June - Halong Bay

We'd booked on a trip to Halong Bay to try and get back into the whole travelling experience and our bus came to collect us from the 'screamy' hotel at 8am. Matt was a bit nervous because the company on the bus was one that he'd read lots of bad things about but he didn't mention it because he did not want to bother me. Since one tale included a tourist having a knife pulled on him, this was probably wise.

The bus journey (bizarrely via big statue shop) to the bay was pretty nail-biting but not the scariest or most uncomfortable we were to experience in the next few days.

The boat was nicer than we expected but they would not let us check into our rooms so we weren't sure what was lurking under deck. We ate dinner around a big table as we floated around the bay and got to know some of the people who we would be sharing the next few days with.

Our first stop was Hang Sung Sot cave. It was big and had some impressive structures with coloured lights highlighting the key features. It made it look quite tacky but we didn't get to delay too long as we were shepherded around. We exited through the gift shop and had a giggle at some of the hilarious animal-shaped ornament type things decorated with fake pearls.

Next stop was a fishing village that we saw briefly as we floated past to where we could pay to go on a bamboo boat through a natural tunnel in the rock to see a lagoon. Matt and I didn't really fancy it and asked if we could go on the kayaks where we were. Apparently not. We were starting to see the importance of the itinerary.

Kayaking at the next stop was lovely and we squeezed the boats through into a nice little bay. There was a strict time limit of 20 mins so we didn't get any further but it was still really nice.

They anchored the boat in the bay so that we could go swimming. There were some really impressive jumps off the top of boat, including a few amazing backflips, but a combination of so many days without personal grooming and a fear of the sea kept me from joining in. Matt also decined and spent the time lounging on the top deck.

We were finally allowed the check into our rooms and they were really quite nice. After dinner and learning a fun new game called 'Jungle Speed', we headed back up to the top deck to watch some of our talented ship-mates play guitar and sing. They were actually really good but Matt reached his limit when 'Let it Be' was pulled out of the bag and so he headed to bed, leaving me to stay up late having fun.

Come bed time I found the room far too stuffy, the engine too noisy and the fact that the electricity kept going off and making the fan stop really annoying and so we headed up to the roof to spend a lovely night sleeping under the stars and actually being able to breathe.

1st and 2nd June - Yoohoo! It's been while!

 I hope no-one minds too much if I hijack Matt's new blogging streak for a few days. Though now he's started participating, I don't want him to lose steam. It can be quite a demanding and time-comsuming job and he seems to be able to do it quicker than me.

So, anyway, arriving in Hanoi after the mega-journey from Chesterfield was pretty emotionally and physically draining and it took me a couple of days to learn much more about Hanoi other than there's a cathedral, a big lake or three and that the people, despite being tiny, are very shouty and loud indeed