19th - Koh Tao

We had a 6.30am start for diving and so wanted a good breakfast before. None of the many local restaurants seem to have taken advantage of this daily event and so we ended up eating cereal from 7-11 out of bowls fashioned from the bottom half of plastic water bottles.

The organisation was a little more efficient than usual and it wasn't long before we were being taxied to the pier further round the island, where we had to make our way precariously across 6 or 7 other boats to get to ours.

Our first dive was at Shark Island and though the sea wasn't churning quite so much, it was still a rough ride to get there. Despite managing to jump forwards into the water yesterday, I couldn't pluck up courage to perform the 'giant stride' and so climbed down the ladder into the sea like a numpty.

My ears were a lot better than yesterday and I really enjoyed the dive. Though it was a shame about last night's storm because it meant that the visibility was pretty bad. We did get to see a few pretty things though and it was cool going all the way down to 18m. And it turns out I'm kinda good at blowing water rings. They're like smoke rings but prettier and not as hazardous to your health.

For our second dive of the day we went to White Rock. The sea was still rough and the boat took the long way round the island to avoid the worst of it though we were all still feeling a bit quesy when we got there.
This time we had to sit on the edge and roll backwards off the boat. A combination of the shame I'd felt climbing the ladder and the fact that I find it easier not knowing what I'm falling into, meant that I found this a whole lot easier. I was quite excited about the descent after the ease of this morning but my stupid ears betrayed me. My ears hurt so badly after the first few metres that I found myself resurfacing completely. The choppiness of the sea really didn't help and I was soon being thrown about by the waves. A bit of help from Henry and I managed to descend eventually but I felt quite sorry for Gina and Florence because it didn't seem very long before Matt had used up all of his air and we had to start our ascent.

After a bit of a rest and some food, we met up to watch the DVD. Axell had done a great job and had edited out most of our silly mistakes. Unfortuately, this didn't include my climbing down the ladder and so I have been eternally captured as a wally and a wimp.   Despite this, and the fact it was super-expensive, we conceded to buying a copy.

A couple of drinks later, we joined Claire and Henry at the island's trapeze school where we had a few more drinks and watched a showcase of new and experienced trapeze artists. I really fancied having a go and resolved to join one of the classes the following day.

18th - Koh Tao

Our PADI start course didn't start until 11am so we went for breakfast and I tried to get my head around dive tables. It must have worked because I completed the exam and got top marks! Matt and I did did get competetive for the role of class swot but I won fair and square(ish). Some of the questions really are quite silly though!

We had the usual rigmarole before getting out in the boat and moving from the small boat to the big one was challenging enough because of how rough the sea was.

We were meant to go to 'Twins' and 'Japanese Gardens' but instead did Shark Island (so named because it apparently looks like a shark, not because sharks are usually found there)  and White Rock because it was simply too choppy to do the original sites.

My ears were awful! We descended using a boat rope for a guide and my ears were soon agony. When I tried to ascend a little bit to try and equalise it, it just seems to be getting worse and I couldn't stop myself from whimpering. Claire was really helpful and calm but kept trying to lead me away from the rope. I resisted because if I was in that much pain having something to hold on to that I couldn't imagine how bad it would get if I started to freefall. When my head hit a tangle of ropes, I started to realise that things were not quite as they should be but couldn't understand Claire's gestures.

After swimming around on a level for a bit, things improved and I really started to enjoy myself. I loved looking around all of the colourful corals and fish and it was really so beautiful and quite clear.

After our ascent, Claire explained that she was really annoyed because the boat we were using had known we were there but had chucked its rope anyway. I felt lots better knowing that this was why I kept sinking and didn't recognise all of the ropes above me.

Matt, on the other hand, was a bit bloody nosed and frustrated because his nose seems to bleed from the pressure and prevent him from being able to clear his mask properly. Every time I looked at him he always had half a mask full of water like something out of a cartoon. I was obviously concerned because of his contact lenses but couldn't help but giggle a little at the sight of it.

On our second dive my ears were much better and it was much more relaxing exploring the underwater world when I hadn't had the trauma of the pain first. We did a few skills and I learned how to to blow bubble rings. I was instantly quite good at it so that may be the talent that I have waited 31 years to discover! Know I just have to work out how to market it!

It took us a long while to get our land legs back once we were back on the island and we spent most of the evening rocking and reeling. Matt was also suffereing quite badly with his ears and I kept turning round to find him smacking his own tilted head to try and dislodge the water that he was convinced was still in there. Given that I'd seen how much seemed to collect in his nose and stay there until a really inopportune time, I would not have been at all surprised!

17th July - Koh Tao

After waking from a deep sleep in the poshest bed we'd seen for a while, I was quite looking forward to the day.

It took a good while to get Matt's new contacts in but eventually settled on a technique that we could start to refine: Matt sat on the loo using both hands to wrench his eye open and I dartied closer with the contact to try and slip it on his eyeball before his eyelids involuntarily closed. How one little eyelid can overpower the strength of two fully-grown arms and hands I really do not know but it took a while before we were 'successful' and Matt could emerge red-eyed, blinking and a little visually disorientated into the Koh Tao sunshine.

The course started at 9am and we completed the 4th and 5th sections of the course. We were saved from watching more cheesy PADI DVDs and Claire just told us what we needed to know to do the reviews. I seemed to have a severe case on the shakes and could barely write properly (probably the huge super-strong coffee we'd had with breakfast) so it was a relief not to sit through more American drivel while I jibbled away.

We took our exam early and it was quite simple but for some reason I suddenly could not get my head around the dive tables. They were phrased quite like Maths exams and were obviously fairly straight forward but I got hot, frustrated and even more quivery so I (reluctantly) took a break and went for lunch instead.
In the afternoon we were due to start our 'Confined Sessions' where we start to learn the skills needed before diving. It was meant to be in the pool but it was being drained and so we took the boat to Mango Bay to do them there.

The first job was to prove that we could swim a certain distance, but the bigger task for me was actually being able to jump in the water. I just don't do jumping off things. At Halong Bay, I looked longingly at the people jumping from the boat to the sea and without comprehension at the people who jumped backwards from the top deck. In all honesty, the sea scares me. It's vast, deep, powerful, contains all sorts on crazy things, tastes awful, and I only learnt to swim about a year ago! I'm not a big fan of being in the swimming pool when my feet can't touch the floor and have only  parallel to the shore the sea and certainly no more than about chest deep!

After a few false starts, nearly giving up and going back, and generally feeling like an absolute dufus, I finally braved it - holding Claire's hand I might add. I'd tried to jump in holding Matt's hand previously but had chickened out and let him go. Thankfully he's had the sense to let go to and hadn't dragged me in head first.
After a couple of circuits of the boat, we climbed back onboard and started to get our gear on - and that's when the fun with the equipment started. Matt's weight belt wasn't long enough to go around his waist and my wetsuit turned out not to have a functioning zip. Luckily, there were spares and it didn't take too long before we were on our way.

The next challenge was trying to do a 'giant stride' from the boat, weating all of our gear. I know that i couldn't drown because I was wearing my inflated BCD but it still took me a fair few count-ins to finally do it. And when I did, my feet changed their minds and started scrambling for the edge.

Once in the sea I was fine and appreciated the views of the lighthouse site and the fact that with the BCD and a decent snorkel, I managed my first successful snorkelling session ever. There were so many pretty fishies swimming around beneath me that I couldn't help but be excited.

Learning the skills was good fun and it felt weird but wonderful to kneel a few meters under the sea and still be able to breathe. Staying upright was a bit more of a challenge because of the pull of the waves above us but I can't say that I didn't enjoy being dragged around a bit and bumping into people - at least for the first 10 minutes anyway.

We had to head back eventually because the group who'd gone diving were back and the boat and Matt had run out of air but I was very much looking forward to our first proper dive. Siobhan really didn't like being under the water though and so decided not to pursue the course. I felt sorry for her but I also couldn't help but feel relieved that I wasn't the only one with issues.

There was a vague plan to join the event of the fortnight and go and watch Leeroy Thornhill (ex-Prodigy fella) DJ at a bar later in the evening but after dinner we were quite tired. We did wander past and even though it hadn't started it was already super loud so we were very middle-aged and gave it a miss.

Instead we ended up at a bar further down the street, listening to odd lounge versions of popular somgs and watching rubbish but gracious fireshow guys practising their performance. I think it was the proper show but they had a fair few mishaps that made us pleased that we hadn't opted for the front-row seats. We were suitable placed to watch the horror of a group of guys sat in front as burning stick came flying towards them several times. It seemed to elicit a better response from the audience when they missed than when they didn't so there was a really nice, encouraging atmosphere as well as no real catastrophes.

16th July - Bangkok to Koh Tao

Around 7am we were herded onto the ferry. I somehow fell asleep again - this time across very uncomfortable moulded seats.

We docked about 10am and thankfully, a lift from Davy Jones Locker (DJL) diving school was waiting there and so we avoided the usual confusing clamour to get to a guesthouse.

The lady at DJL was nice and gave us the option of starting our course today or tomorrow. We decided that since the 1st day was all theory and DVD watching, that we'd just be happpy to crack on with it. Less fortunately, the previous guests hadn't checked out of our room so all we could really do was wander til 12.30. It was a nice island though and was mostly populated with dive schools so we were really glad we'd made the decision of who to go with before we got there because otherwise we would have been confounded by the range of choice. Instead we stopped for a good brunch at the Coffee Boat and took a quick walk to see what was further down the road until it was tie to go to the room.

We started course at 2 and were introduced to Claire, our instructor, and Florence and Siobhan, our classmates. After a bit of waiting, some form filling, a DVD malfunction and a room change, we watched the corny instruction DVDs and answered the review questions. The information itself wasn't difficult, the hardest thing was being a 'student' again: working in a stuffy room, feeling sleepy and feeling question anxiety.
]
Because I'd stupidly told the truth about taking regular medication on my health assessment form, I had to go and get a doctor's clearance from a nearby health clinic. Matt immediately got tolf off for not taking his shoes off before he went in but they had 3 dogs in there! The nurses were really rude and roughly took my blood pressure before sending me in to the doctor. I 'consulted' the doctor at the same time and in the same room as another man who was undergoing a procedure. The doctors asked me what medication I was taking, touched his stomach to confirm and listened to my chest before signing my form and sending me on his way. The whole thing took about 3 minutes!

Since it had dawned on Matt that he couldn't wear his glasses under his mask, we started looking into contact lenses. The lady in the shop was really helpful and took Matt's precription form his glasses so that he didn't have to go back to the room. After a bit of faffing and a conversation with one of DJL's instructors, Matt was the nervous owner of 15 days worth of disposable contacts.

We were home by 7pm to do our homework, which was qiute a lot ore time-consuming than we expected. By 11pm we were in bed and looking forward to spending some actual time in the sea whilst on this island.

14th July - Kanchanaburi

We rose at 5am for the 6am train but when we arrived at station, we were told that the train was delayed until 7am. We looked at the interestingly shaped topiary of nagar and dinosaurs and popped to 7-11 for coffee and weird croissant toasties. On the way back to the station, Matt discovered his favourite banana/sticky rice treats being freshly cooked in their banana leaves. I've got a feeling we might end up with an early start tomorrow since morning stalls are usually all packed up by 8 or 9am. After further delays and a nap on the platform of the quaint station, we set off around 8.15.

At the 'Bridge over the Kwai' stop, the train was boarded by a stream of already drunken Thais (I assume they were Thai but they did drink like Laos guys), who sang songs and chants and chatted happily for the rest of the journey.

The views of rural Thailand and the misty mountains were really quite lovely but we had to be careful not to let our fingers, elbows or faces hang out of the open window since the train fitted very snugly into the alloted space, meaning that even the slightest bit of overhang would be whipped by bushes, bashed concrete posts or risk being entagled in electric cables.

 Not that the train was moving particularly fast. It had a top speed of about 45mph when all you could hear was the sound of the engine and clunking of the carriages as they swung from side to side, straining at their links. Occasionally, the Thai guys stood at the end of the carriage would all give a large cry and for one moment we'd wonder if the train had come off the track.

Passing over the viaducts, it was impossible not to marvel at what the POW's who built it had achieved. It was also a bit hair-raising when everyone rushed to one side to look out of the windows into the valleys below.

We arrived Nam Tok about 10.30 and debated paying the 600 baht taxi fare to Hellfire Pass but when the guy insisted we'd only be able to stay for an hour, we decided to jump in the shared songthaew to a nearby waterfall. It was driven by the same guy who wanted to take us Hellfire Pass and I couldn't help but wonder if he would have thrown the full truck-load of people out if we'd agreed. As we arrived and peeled ourselves out of the back seat (which was still better than the metal cage of the truck), the driver told us, "This waterfall. No water."

There wasn't actually very much water, but there was still enough for a small pool where little kids swam and played in inner tubes. There was a helpful information stand though and he confirmed that we could get a bus and wrote down the destination in Thai for us.

We completed the small circuit of the waterfall and headed across the road for the bus. We flagged down the next one that wasn't a party bus blasting out music and full of druken Thais. It wasn't the actual public bus but after a brief discussion with a  local woman (probably to ascertain the price we'd normally get charged), the conducter agreed to take us for 30baht each.

We jumped on and about 20 mins later were deposit squarely outside a security fence. We followed the road, past the emus to the Hellfire Pass Museum. The museum is curated by an Australian guy and was excellent. There weren't many objects there to look at since POWs had very little and most of what they did have was burnt to try and stop the spread of cholera, but the information was interesting and there were some statues, a film and a few heartwrenching paintings by POW's.

After being given an audio tour handset and a walkie-talkie(!), we made our way down the ballast path and through Hellfire pass. The audio tour was outstanding and included insights from the POW's who had toiled to create the path through the rock. The ground underfoot was made from the blasted rock and was tough going for Dave and his flip-flops. It was impossible to imagine what walking on it barefoot while carrying a load would have been like, never mind having to do in the extreme climate when beaten, sick and starving.

Taking in the view from the top of the pass, we got a better idea of the magnitude of the task and tried to imagine what 416km of similar work in 20 months would entail. Roughly 13,000 POWs and 100,000 Asian workers died during this time. Of the POW survivors, many were tragically killed as the allies bombed Japanese ships as they transported the prisoners back. Perhaps more sad is the fact that there are no records of the Asian workers who were lured by promises of good pay and conditions, only to suffer equal cruelties.
We would have liked to continue to the end of the route bus needed to get back in time for the 3.30 train and so took the path that the prisoners used to walk and headed back to the museum.

We were out on the main road just in time to catch the local bus as it careered past. It got to our stop just as the heavens opened. Luckily, we found out that it was actually going all the way back to Kanchanburi and so not only did we get to stay dry, we avoided the clunky train, arrived back nearly 2 hours early and got dropped off near our favourite chicken stand just in time for freshly cooked food.

Out in evening. 10B bar and bus organising. Sang in pub. Home reasonably early

13th July - Kanchanaburi

After last night's antics and falling asleep on a very lumpy pillow, I woke up with a bit of a headache and so slept for a while longer while Matt took a walk to the bridge over the river Kwai and visited a rubbishy museum whihc he said was, 'full of random rubbishy exhibits with no information and photocopied photographs with badly translated hand-written descriptions'.

After lunch, we visited the Thailand-Burma Railway Research Centre down the road. It's curated by an English guy who's spent the last 18 years reasearching and is excellent. We spent a good few hours reading the information and looking at the scales and models. Particularly touching were the few belongings that had been donated by POWs or their families.

Afterwards we took a slow walk around the cemetery which is just outside. It was beautifully maintained with flowers between every stone.  It was very emotional to read the few short inscriptions and see the young ages of the soldiers. Most of the soldiers commemmorated at this particular site were British and Dutch and only in their early 20's. The few that were over thirty seemed ancient in comparison. We could have spent longer there but it was already 5pm and so we were politely waved away so they could lock up.
After the gravity of the afternoon, it seems insensitive to mention that we then discovered the best chicken ever, but, having come half way around the world, it's important to note such things when they occur. We also bought a giant grapefruit-shaped thing called a pomelo which was a pain to get into but actually quite nice. The pith was that thick that each segment was like a little individual package of fruit.

We hooked up with Dave in the evening but were very tired after last night and so could barely finish our fruit shake before clearing off to bed for an early night in preparation for an early start

12th July - Bangkok to Kanchanaburi

The area around Khao San road is a nightmare for someone with my navigational issues. Each street is not only lined with shops, but the shops are lined with markets. Trapped between shop-fronts and market stalls, most of my concentration is going into not tripping over or barging into anyone or anything with just a tiny bit spare for the pretty things that might catch my eye. Thankfully Matt is much more talented than me and so somehow, the last minute dash to buy the few bits and bobs that caught my eye during our short time in Bangkok was actually very successful. I managed to collect the trousers that I'd had adjusted and get a few other things that fit while we were still in a city that caters for the anyone bigger than 4'10"  or 8st.

We'd been told that best way to Thon Buri train station was by taxi and so splashed out (or got ripped off) on an actual car for once. It turned out to be quite a short trip and so arrived in plenty of time to drop our bags at the 1920's style station and go for a wander around a big outdoor market complex which was empty apart from a few giant rats and the occasional sleeping worker.

We stopped for lunch at a popular street restaurant and got a whole fish, some chicken, rice and papaya salad for about 2 quid. I loved Laos but it is nice to be back somewhere where there is a little bit more variety in the food. Although Thais do have a bit of a thing for processed meat on sticks or in balls so my favourite noodle soup is pretty much off the menu now.

Back at the station, we bought a coconut,  pineapple and a weird but delicious bright green fruit with a white foamy middle and chatted to an Australian guy called Dave.

The train was really basic and very loud but there were clean loos and it was nice to be able to get up and wander (or stumble) around for a change.

We arrived at Kanchanaburi just as a big rain hit so we took the first songtheow and ended up at Sugarcane guesthouse. The rain showed no sign of slowing and so we spent several hours in the restaurant over the river just chatting to Dave. Fortunately, I was in the bungalow when a giant lizard fell off the roof and splattered on to the table next to Matt. It was a bit stunned and so just sat there for a while before scurrying off.

Eventually we took a short walk to the main street and it somehow turned into a long night. Which is I guess what happens when you stumble across a 10 baht bar in a street which is pretty much nothing but bars.

Across the way was a bar which had an attached tattoo studio where a girl was having the whole of her forearm tattooed. We (or rather, Dave) got chatting to some Swiss girls and we all moved across the road. After the band (who were occasionally dreadful) finished playing and competing with the musicians next door, I spent the evening chatting to Soropan, who was clearly a local figure, and a funny English guy called Harry George Martin Hobson (the third) before finally crawling into bed somewhere around 5am.